Whether you like it or not, but the older you get, the more you accumulate social debts. Each of us is owing something to someone, that’s life. But some believe that you owe them something simply on the grounds that they want so. And straightly give you a list. That’s fine, let’s assume that. We also have a list. Of what you do not owe anyone.
To be beautiful
The first requirement for a woman, of course! Certainly, it’s easy and pleasant to be beautiful – in case if the nature has generously endowed you. And if you’re 20 years old. And afterwards, the beauty requires some effort, not speaking about sacrifices. Corsets and lead powder have long been abolished, but in general, nothing has changed. Well, if you’re a big fan of the achievements in the beauty industry – then enjoy. But if it is not the case – you do not have to spend your precious time of your life on endless improvement of your appearance. You simply should not, period.
To be nice
To smile, never say no and under no circumstances offend anyone. Or else, all people around have such a subtle sensibility! Almost transparent. In practice, that means you should be very flexible. “Never offend anyone” means don’t be offended when someone offends. Yes, exactly. If you face off, you would be called bitch – sounds familiar? But arises the question: if you need to be “cute,” then why those who are asking that are not cute with you? I’ll tell you why, because You don’t owe them anything. Be nice to those who are nice to you.
To be sexy
Your boyfriend certainly thinks so, right? And you want to be sexy for him, which is quite natural. And what all the other people have with your sexuality? You are not hired to please their eyes, right? To raise their self-esteem, to excite their views, to show a sexy appeal. You weren’t hired for that, right? Accordingly – you don’t owe that. If you do not want to. And to all those wishing to get excited, advice to use all services of modern sex industry. Let them look to a sexual image on the Internet.
To be feminine
A famous refrain from childhood says “You’re a girl, you should.” All were saying that and you are not an exception. The problem is that all girls are different. And what is quite natural for one because it is the essence of her nature, for another – is a sheer torture. Perhaps you think that this requirement is somewhat true, because there is a similar phrase saying “You have to, otherwise you’re not a man.” That’s not the case. If a man does not behave like a man, many will be lenient toward him. He knows that, and because of that he is convinced that he owes nothing to anybody. And why you think you should owe all of a sudden?
To account for
Your one and only life. You’re a big girl, and you are not obliged to explain why you did so and not otherwise. You have the right to take your own decisions, even if they apply not only to you. But you in the first place, right? And here it is not about selfishness, but about the elementary protection of your own limits. Because there are too many around who want to violate those same limits and make an inventory inside you. What for?
To make excuses
With regard to your beliefs or actions. The most difficult thing is of course the personal life. Why have you left him, he’s such a good boy? Why are you not married yet, nobody wants you or what? Even if such questions seem to be asked friendly, you still feel guilty. You did not meet the expectations! And you, of course, just want to explain everyone around that you are not guilty, that that’s the situation. There is no need to do that. There is no need to spend your efforts on people who look at you as to a guilty kitten. Let them look in the mirror this way.
To reveal details of your relationship
Everyone loves to tell how they met their partner. And everyone likes to hear such stories. The problem is that for some listeners that is not enough. They want details, not only about dating, but in general about your entire life. Have you quarreled? And what did he say? And you? You answer, because people sort of like have a sincere interest and you don’t want to be rude with them. And you know what? They’re rude. They roughly invade your personal space. They’d better watch TV series and read society column – they’ll find what they want there.
To agree with other people’s beliefs
Certainly, there are people around who fervently believe in any idea of correct living. In vegetarianism, for example. If they acknowledged recently – you are in trouble. There is such a thing called enthusiasm of a novice. A person who tap into any idea, becomes so inspired that he wants immediately to bring happiness to everyone around. And argues fiercely with those who have a different opinion. Perhaps you think that it is easier to accept to get rid of that. But it is not. Do you really need that?
To always say “Yes”
You have the right to refuse anyone and anything. The problem is that it is difficult to do that if you’re used to always say “Yes.” This is a rather delicate mechanism: you are afraid to offend people, then you are blaming yourself, you think that it was better if you would have accepted, that’s okay, you wouldn’t have suffered. It exhausts you so much that in the next similar situation you will say “Yes” completely automatically. Well, you shouldn’t. Who said that the person to whom you refused is very worried about this? “No” is absolutely a normal word, it will not make you worse. It generally does not characterize you. Because you should never agree to everything around.
It is assumed that you have to do that and the conflict will be settled. And if it’s not? Or you are not regretting your actions at all? Or you do not care about receiving forgiveness from that person? Do not apologize just because it’s generally accepted. You do not have to do this if you do not want to. Moreover, this can only aggravate the situation. You are just paying tribute to the formalities, and the person would believe that you seriously think you were wrong. And that is the reason for a new conflict.